So i had the weirdest dream today that made me burst in to tears. There is this one guy who liked me way back in high school and he was being sweet to me. I reciprocated the sweetness. i was thinking maybe the reason why he was in my dreams was because we’ve been chatting a lot lately. And lately I’ve been think what If I gave him a chance? But any way, the next scene was a me kissing some guy on a bus? Such a weird setting, but I imagined liking the kiss. In my dream I felt loved and indulge.I think this  represented my desire to be intimate with someone. ( not like sexually! But just be really close to someone and be able to trust him with my heart..cheesy as it sounds, btw this will get cheesier) Then all of a sudden I was in a college setting, then the sister of my ex showed up out of nowhere. A couple of minutes later her brother, my ex, showed up. The ex who broke my heart and left me for  another woman. Then all of a sudden, we were being sweet to each other. AAnd I was very about it. The guys that I flirted with in my dream, were not. They gave me a disappointed look. Their eyes say ” After all he did to you, you would choose him? over us?”.. But I could also remember having butterflies in my stomach when I was with my ex (in my dreams), just like the old days.so.. So I guess, this just means, that deep down, after all the efforts of moving on and forgetting about him, I’m still not over him.

I don’t really now why this keeps happening to me. Just when I thought I was finally moving on. Just when I’m starting to open my heart for possibility of new love. I thought I was over him. It’s been two years. Nothing that he did made me love him less. Even when he cheated on me, I;ll still take him back. He doesn’t have to do anything. Just be with me.. But he didn’t love me anymore. How do you completely forget someone, who you once thought was “The one” that you’re going to spend forever with? At a tender age of 17, I honestly felt he was The One. I felt that we could make it through anything as long as we’re together. I wanted him to be the first and the last one.

Someone tell me how can you really let someone go? How do you teach  your heart to forget?